1.Never put dinosaurs in your hair.
2.Don't kiss poop.
3.People don't know anything.
4.Turkeys should shut up.
5.You'll never learn if you don't attempt.
6.You look like a moron attempting.
7.It hurts to fall down the stairs.
8.It's fun to act like an idiot.
9.If lyour friends are nut-cases, you probably are too.
10.There are gross things in life. Enjoy 'em, don't scream at 'em.
11.Everyone's weird in their own special way.
12.We're all gonna die!
13.Ice is slippery.
14.Water is wet.
15.Don't stick your tongue on cold metal.
16.Cats explode in the microwave.
17.When you bundle up to go outside, you have to go pee.
18.When you put on ANYTHING that takes time to get on or off, you'll have to go pee.
19.Marshmallows are flammable.
20.Gum and hair don't mix.
21.Hot things + fingers = pain.
22.You will always have at least one wacky teacher per year.
23.Free stuff is cheap.
24.Something free always has a catch.
25.Textbooks are heavy.
26.Pencils break easily.
27.Math is VERY boring.
28.If you have a math test, the person next to you will be chewing gum with their mouth open.
29.When your younger sibling attempts to cook dinner, expect to order pizza.
30.There is going to be a rumor about you sometime in your life.
31.When someone says "Just a minute!" it will take a long time.
32.Little kids are gullible.
33.Never put super glue on your finger and stick it up your nose.
34.On your busiest day, you'll get the most homework.
35.Everyone tries to steal a good idea.
36.Don't ask your dad to explain math problems to you. It will take three hours per problem.
37.Don't ask your mom either - she doesn't know.
38.Polite intelligent guys are as rare as flawless diamonds.
39.Boys are usually cute and stupid.
40.Nice boys are either dweebs, geeks, or ugly.
41.There are ugly and stupid boys, too.
42.True friend stop at your locker with you.
43.Siblings are weird. Really weird.
44.Most popular people's grades reek.
45.If someone says "When I was your age..." it means trouble.
46.Don't close a waffle iron 'till you're absolutely sure your hand is out.
47.People for some reason find sneezing humorous.
48.Those insulting key chains are stupid.
49.If you need something weird in your life, talk to a Japanese person - or Jayme.
50.If you aren't paying attention in class, you'll get called on to answer a question.
51.If all else fails - beg.
52.The dweebiest guy in the class probably likes you.
53.If the classroom is loud, the second YOU talk everyone else is quite.
54.Especially if it's rude or embarrassing.
55.Pikachus rule!
56.So does any other anime cartoon.
57.Foreigners talk very fast.
58.When you go to a sleep over, your parents will say "Don't stay up too late."
59.When you go to a sleep over, everyone is really hyper.
60.When you go to a sleep over, don't expect to sleep.
61.Your most private note will be read aloud by the teacher, or taken and read by the person it's about.
62.Taxi drivers are either insane, or retarded.
63.People in a traffic-jam curse a lot - especially taxi drivers.
64.You're neighbor's dog will use your yard as a toilet.
65.If you're in a hurry, the person in front of you will go slowly.
66.If your dog won't eat it, don't YOU eat it! It's definitely not good.
67.Don't copy answers. They're usually wrong anyway.
68.Sleep and food are the world's most precious things.
69.Barney, Timmy the Tooth, and a locked room. Enough said.
70.As soon as you stop wanting something, or don't need it, you'll get it.
71.As soon as you want something, or really need it, the store won't carry it anymore.
72.Paper is not a good Kleenex.
73.Paper is not a good teacher, either.
74.Nothing is more inspirational that classical music with the bass and volume cranked up to it's maximum.
75.Once a month - at least - you'll have a really annoying song stuck in your head.
76.Sometimes that annoying song will be in Japanese.
77.Teachers have no sense of humor.
78.The unknown thing you hear in a different language is probably rude.
79.You can't help who you like.
80.Usually, people don't approve of who you like.
81.Some things don't have a reason.
82.When it's time to go to bed, you get hyper.
83.When it's time to wake up, you never want to.
84.Too much sleep is not good.
85.Too little sleep is not good.
86.Your favorite shirt will be dirty when you want to wear it.
87.Life is ironic. V